Madhumita's Blog

Life is definitely a sequence of changes. There’s always a need for each of us to mould into situations which unfold as we progress. Holding on to old values and priorities sometimes is a cause of distress. When we are young we are taught to follow every teaching of parents but in the next phase every intelligent child teaches ways to learn better ways of survival. They learn from social interactions and reading things they like. With time it’s healthy to allow each person’s perceptions to change and mould into what they individually perceive as correct. That’s where many slip. The day an adult decides to wear the boots of life in the way they like parents should never assert. The well brought up individual also does not feel intimidated to mould into the new position of choice. The ability to accept the changes in every situation of life without fear is a skill to be learnt.
The constant dependence on the past and the insecurity to let go what we value, sometimes is unknowingly the cause of unhappiness in the present moment.

We should consciously tell ourselves that the place in life where I am in today is where I have chosen to be. Nothing from my previous values or position is in conflict. Each person is moulding and so am I. Contentment in my present moment can come from acceptance of changes that I stepped into.
Peace is a result of choosing to be satisfied with what we achieve and moulding into the sequence of changes that usher as we sail in life.
Sometimes across generations there may be misinterpretations of contexts. That’s perfectly normal. This is also because change is the only constant in this universe. The ability to mould into the new concepts of values is a skill that we should nurture at every stage as we move on.
finally happy is the soul who’s mastered the ability to accept every changing perspective of life.

To choose to be happy today is my choice and to be independent enough to not hold anyone responsible for how my life unfolds is my nurtured maturity.
I consider myself to be happy, peaceful and content.
I try to absorb every change as the law of nature.

Peaceful is the soul who can perceive that “That change is the only constant in this universe” .
Moulding in is the key to happiness.

There’s no end to learning from life at every stage. Man being primarily a social being we have to always work on interpersonal relationships to feel peaceful and socially secure.
The moment the balance between expectations and realisation is disturbed we start feeling stressed. This is absolutely true and how it should be. However there’s one observation that in situations of turbulence it’s the mutual responsibility of each person to work on it. If someone does not respond as desired is it by choice or under pressure of other situations? Not every person can always control their tranquility or inner sanity at all times. Some moments call for understanding ,retrospection and introspection into our own role in the dynamics of the resultant distress.
Whenever near and dear ones are concerned we are sometimes blinded with a huge sense of belonging that no law of reasoning can pull our reigns down.
The fact that we love someone so dearly makes us believe that the other person should reciprocate at the exact same frequency.
My perception is perhaps that’s where we sometimes go wrong in our judgement.
Every person is different. The day we start respecting each other together with the huge love and care we hold in our hearts for them perhaps the music of life starts to play more smoothly.
Primarily one should learn to be peaceful inside oneself. The key to inner peace should not be dependent on external factors as far as possible. To master inner tranquility is of course a lifetime pursuit.
Once we are peaceful inside, the outer environment becomes easier to handle.
However, it’s each person’s huge responsibility to understand the expectations, limitations and mutual contribution to try to hold on in times of happiness and crisis.
Nobody can be happy alone. It’s hence perfectly normal to want our near and dear ones in moments of need. The response of a person in the other’s need is what makes things fall into place.
Once we start to count of the good memories of any relation perhaps the pain of any present situation can feel lighter.

All said and done, it’s each of our duty to value every social responsibility we bear towards each other and consciously make living stress free and happy.

Time teaches us many things. One of the major lessons from time is “the power of silence”. The more inexperienced we are with life, more do we feel the necessity of speaking up. We wish to clarify every details of our interactions. We are usually intolerant to us being misinterpreted. There are situations when we can reflect and appreciate that by speaking up things got misjudged.

Time teaches that silence at times is golden. This is more so when interactions are sensitive often with near and dear ones. In official matters, it’s mandatory to speak up and be clear about every details. However, every scenario does not call for exhaustive elucidation. There are circumstances when it makes no difference to remain distorted. Not everyone deserves our explanation.

During the course of a day looking back one can often comprehend that not every conversation was crucial or profound. It’s very often prudent to remain in silence and let action prove the truth. A properly placed moment of silence can often heal a lot of unexpressed sorrow. When interaction is between level headed people who are intellectually and emotionally at par, silence can be ground breaking.

All misunderstandings and emotional anguish is often a result of lambasting and harangue. When one learns to live with tranquility through that moment of adrenaline outburst shall the glow of silence be visible. Our behaviour is scientifically governed by a balance of hormones where the hypothalamus located deep inside the brain plays a role of governance. Endorphins, serotonin, oxytocin and dopamine are the happy hormones. Whereas adrenaline rush causes anxiety, hypertension, insomnia, indigestion and cardiac disorders. Certain activities like exercise, relaxation, good sleep, meditation help in the surge of hormones that bring calmness and tranquility.

The balance of our reactions is within the bandwidth of our lifestyle and how we work towards making it healthy. Reactions are innate to human but the ability to mould, hold and modify how we react is the refinement one can achieve with the perseverance of conscious strive to grip on our primitive responses.

Silence is not weakness it’s in fact the ultimate strength of resilience where kinship is involved. In circumstances of official interactions prudent use of language is a skill of the erudite. The ability to choose silence over words is an expertise learnt from stumbles of unhappiness we created in the past from talking beyond necessity.

Silence is golden.

Words are powerful.

The ability to choose is a skill of the maestro who’s learnt the music of life.

We as human’s are emotionally dependent on each other at various levels of subservience. There are situations when we feel intimidated unless that particular friend, or spouse or child comes and just stands by us to say “don’t worry”. Although in reality one person strategically manages the blueprint of things, but that person feels confident when there’s a soul to lean on. We say that a person is strong or not according to how they handle life. But if one looks closely we realise that being strong is not a choice or a nurtured skill. Strength comes from situations handled with no choice but to hold on.

Every human is a product of the circumstances we face. If someone has forever been hand held and spoon fed they can never rise up to a crisis. They will break and shatter down to oblivion. Those people who’s rush of endorphins hold them together will bend but not break, they will struggle but not sink. The art on confronting crisis is a product of exposure and experience.

Human’s generally have a tendency to believe that the amount of stress, strain and pain I’ve handled is insurmountable. But still waters run deep. The real survivors are resilient and never look for appreciation. They perfectly know their abilities and limitations and are never on the look out for recognition.

Each soul is handling a situation at any point on time. The interpretation of the scenario as a struggle or a or a commitment depends on individual choice.

An ever cribbing individual can find their daily grid a highlightable challenge , whereas yet others would take it all on their stride and handle quotidian responsibilities. The resultant personality of any person depends of their mindset.

Some people complain about the sun when it’s bright and they also complain about the rain when it sprinkles. The interpretation of events and the handling of situations ranging from daily schedules to catastrophe depends on the attitude and mental programme of every individual.

As a doctor I’ve often noticed that people react so differently in similar situations. Some are in denial, some accept, yet other scream, cry and exhibit emotions. The ones who a higher in intellect and education often reveal nothing but burn out internally.

The concept of confronting crisis is extremely personal and individualised . We all mould along the way. How we reacted a decade back will never be how we respond today. Everyday, every new berth we step into shapes us to be the new self we emerge to be. The template that defines us at every stage in life comes from the myriads of crisis we confront everyday.

We hold, we break we reshape and emerge stronger with every passing day.

Let the mind soak it, subsequently the body will shape it and the revised, polished and fit personality in us emerges.

Dr Madhumita P Das

In life we wade through multiple scenes of good, bad, happiness and contentment. There’s just no one who’s forever happy nor forever sad. It’s often curious to notice that some of the most successful, materially rich and well placed souls are the most unhappy. They land up being critical, sarcastic and rather sadistic in their interactions. If by fluke of circumstances you need to work with a colleague in that pitiable state of mind, you either should learn to ignore, disrespect or yield to the taunts of words and deeds and live in misery.

Closely looking at such people over years, it’s this realisation that’s seeped in that these mortals are store houses of remorse, dissatisfaction and materially hungry beings who are never grateful for anything they have. Here we need to appreciate that there’s a difference between pride of possession and humility of gratitude.

If someone is proud of their position they can only radiate arrogance and vanity. Grateful people remain humble and carry an aura of self respect, dignity and charm of amicability.

Every being in this world has their own share of talents and limitations. As per their ability each person achieves their dues. Just the fact that someone is wealthy and affluent it’s mindless to gauge that as a measure of accomplishment. You don’t need money, power or position to be gratified or happy. Infact wealth management and fear of loosing power and position are often the greatest triggers for ever sarcastic socially repulsive people.

Practising gratitude is an element that comes from self love, self discipline and perseverance to improve. What do people gain by hurting and demeaning others. The day you step down from your power and position you mingle into oblivion, beware.

Humans as we are, we are always waiting for alignment of expectations to be peaceful. If we reflect back we will certainly absorb that every deadline of hopes which would make us happy ushers in a new pursuit. This never-ending journey of tasks, expectations, realisations and newer pursuits is actually the drive of existence. Infact, that’s what healthy normal living is. If we do not wish to achieve things in life we will have no zeal to move on. It is this flame in us which has moved mankind along all achievements of science, technology, literature and life.

With all these achievements of mankind, has also rolled in problems of anxiety, depression, panic and emotional wreckage. Everyone will perhaps have different interpretations of this situation. With whatever life has unfurled in the form of real time events and learning from texts it makes one feel like the ability to draw a limit to the attachment of pursuits and hence contentment is crucial to peace.

We have to pursue goals to move on and attain fulfilment in life. The ability to decipher the point at which one should feel done is a real life skill. It’s only those who can time this detachment from the ever ongoing journey of achieving dreams, can they soak into peace.

Peace is always within us. To feel peaceful we have to concentrate on every emotion that ignites the string of worries in us. The ability to tell oneself that beyond this point I cannot control this situation, is an expertise. Living life is the greatest teacher, managing problems are the best tests, after that all the wreckage or the victories to continue to remain grounded and sail unperturbed is real peace.

We get morbidly attached to people and situations neither of which is constant. Our forefathers leave us once their journey is over, we should learn to not brood. Our siblings raise their own families. Beyond that our morbid attachment with our children makes us insecure and troubled. We should accept that children as they grow need their own space. If we want our children to hold on to us forever, we not only ruin our own peace but also their evolution and tranquility.

Life is actually a sequence of changes. Nothing is constant. Our priorities, our beliefs, prospects, contentment and fortune everything is very interim. With everything fleeting around us we still seek refuge in every attachment. We prove to be fugitive to situations in life and that drives us away from that soulful peace we all seek.

Living in a society, raising a family, working through limitations if we seek to feel peaceful without being a troglodyte or a solitudinarian we should master the art of timely detachment. There needs to be faith in self. Man is bound to depend on each other for survival and that’s perfectly normal. However, to unnervingly clench on to situations and people causes insecurities, unholy expectations and remorse. Wise is the person who can let go in measured bits the attachments that do not heal. We should learn the right time when to loosen the crick of our grip.

Children grow, parents age, situations change. Let’s teach ourselves the ability to forget when needed and mould into every change . If we can teach ourselves to mould, remould and hold on to every change can perhaps our souls perceive peace.

Dr Madhumita Priyadarshini Das

We humans live our lives usually both to be happy ourselves and to spread love, cheer and happiness. Once we have our food, clothing and shelter taken care of we normally want to give something to humanity. We show our affection for fellow humans with our behaviour and care. Deep down inside us we would like to be loved, cared for and remembered by mankind.

However, the spontaneous outburst of love for the very talented Assamese singer Zubeen Garg is beyond what one can actually apprehend. The sea of humanity spanning across all age, gender, religion, social strata and all possible affiliation of people is just unbelievable. It’s actually sad that many did not ever get to meet him in person but they held him so close inside their hearts that they also had never realised.

This great soul was a true philanthropist, simple and kind hearted. This outpour of love and affection by the Assamese people has proved that “if you are a good soul people appreciate”. We all would agree that a person always gets exhibition of true love only after death. But this kind of a sea of humanity in tears and rage for the loss is perhaps even the stars never imagined.

Man is mortal. We observe, imbibe, celebrate, mourn and heal. These are all aspects of every mortal in the course of their lives. But one great reality this whole situation has made us realise is love can be infinite, eternal and honestly priceless.

Rest in peace Zubeen Garge. Even with your passing away you have taught us how immensely loved one can be. Your assets were your music and the great human being you were.

The recent upheaval surrounding the incident of the death of a neonat in the NICU has logically surged a huge hue and cry . The question therefore is definitely not why this response. The situation is very heart wrenching if we perceive it from a doctor’s view point as well.

Doctors in general are trained to serve every patient in distress with a promise of rendering their best. They are under oath to heal the sufferings of mankind as far is humanly possible. In the process of delivering their duties many errors do surface at times. The reality is doctors are humans like every other person. The very fact that someone chooses to be in this profession itself is a peril like every other field. It would be practical to not always hunt for faults of this vulnerable professional commitment.

On this day the situation is such that, someone brings a person to the hospital who has perhaps expired on the way. the expectations of the near and dear ones is why couldn’t the doctors on duty revive the gone and perform miracles. Someone comes to the emergency / OPD and does not find a wheel chair, the complaint is who’s the doctor on duty. There’s a short supply of an essential medication prescribed, who’s the doctor on duty ? Medical professionals can handle situations and circumstances within a bandwidth of limitations. No person is versatile. Otherwise every doctor would have been immortal themselves. Every doctor also faces as many hassles as any other person in the society. They are not immune to the situations of life.

The fact that, a section of the society has gotten so remorseful with the deeds of every single member of this fraternity is indeed sad. This situation will only nurture fear and distaste to pursue the profession that pledges to fight disease and death.

No sane mortal can ever wilfully do anything to harm the health status of another mortal. How can the society believe that a doctor under promise to be a saviour can wilfully harm the sick and helpless. Lets try to build up this bridge of doctor patient relationship on mutual trust if we want the healers to also heal and keep going.

DR M P DAS

Humans have this tendency to believe that once we are passed 18 we are all matured in every field of life. This is more so with academically brilliant persons. These people display excellence in the pursuit of knowledge and hence have a tendency to trust that everything else in life move in harmony with intelligence. Unfortunately the greatest reality about life is besides academics all other forms of maturity come not from perseverance, it comes from facing real life situations and rising above obstacles and failures.

A matured person may not have a lot of educational qualifications but they are real life geniuses. If a person is not surged with adrenaline in day to day upheaval’s of life it’s not because he is brilliant or educated, it’s because he has learnt to adjust the sail of his life’s boat with the direction of the roaring winds of life and the storms from time to time. The more protected and disciplined a life you have led the lesser tuned you are to handle these uncertainities.

No form of maturity be it emotional, sentimental or handing freaks of day to day living can be learnt from any text. Life teaches us through situations. It’s meaningless to believe that just because some one is brilliant they are fit to handle everything. Life never fails to teach us with every struggle we survive through.

That farmer who always prays for the rains and struggles with the soil everyday knows the trick of the game far better than any scientist. The experience to facing odds actually prepares us for greater adversities. Books enrich our knowledge but problems enrich our skills.

Some of the indices of maturity are:

• Ability to find a good in every person
• Ability to percieve every person’s limitations
• Soaking into the fact that I am not all knowledgeable
• humility
• empathy
• optimism in the darkest hour
• Ability to understand that every situation does not need my expert comment.
• We are all here on a temporary journey called life, nothing is permanent, our power, position, relations, friendship, no possession.
• finally all our fortunes and misfortunes are also a part of this changing scenerio.

A matured person is as such not a measure of one’s age or social position or academic qualifications. Matured is a person who can smile in an unpalatable situation with the same amount of genuineness as in a really blissful position. They understand that every standpoint does not call for their criticism. At the same time they also know how to juggle out their views in a circumstance where it’s absolutely mandatory.

Such people usually can earn the love and respect of most categories of persons they gel with.

As days roll on in life, all of us reach a stage when we no longer care about what people say. This is the stage when we’ve learnt to handle sarcasm. The less experienced we are with life the more conscious are we about what people say and feel. When perceptions and beliefs have set in to our roots we start to feel confident about our moves.

However, a section of supposedly enlightened intellectuals who believe they are way ahead of everyone else may turn to be pinching and fault finding in day to day life. They fail to realise that this world has it’s own variety. Not everyone loves the same kind of meal, outfit, profession or lifestyle. There is’t any need for judgement or sour comments.

Judgemental people for reasons best known to them are never appreciated. We adults mingle in the society only for social exchange of thoughts, mutual admiration of living and if possible a helping hand in distress.

When life rolls on different tracks of careers, it’s only the wearer who knows where his foot hurts. Instead of pouncing on every other person be it in public or in private and creating surges of adrenaline, it’s part of maturity to be appreciative and adjusting.

Even your own children or sibling wouldn’t accept sarcasm in anyway.

However, the section of unhealthy sarcastic intelligent people survive enjoying their hobby least realising how unacceptable they evolve to be.

May such sarcastic critics live on in their paradise and the rest of the world sail on in their diverse colourful lives.