Madhumita's Blog

Students, I consider you as my extended family. In the very beginning I want to make it clear that I am not the person who want you to be ideal in any way.

I am here addressing mostly our postgraduate students.

However, there are certain evolving vibes that has been bothering us off late. A teacher is someone who’s appointed by the authorities to share what is relevant for you to mould your knowledge and skills in the pursuit of your post graduation degree.

Now, talking about Medical Education, unlike any other field here the build up of expertise is a two way traffic. We, work across holidays or set working hours. There are times when we are ready to learn from you all, none of us can ever feel completely equipped to sail in life without updating. A doctor is a student forever.

The three years that you come to spend with us is actually a privilege for both of us if you wish to believe. As you learn and we teach, the teacher brushes up old and new concepts and you students are the reason why we read and update. You give us the zeal to pursue knowledge and we feel happy to share what we know and expect you all to build up from there and also share. This on going flow of knowledge is the beauty of medical education.

Our academic sessions, conferences, publications and presentations are far more enjoyable than the usual social parties. We unknowingly build up a bond over the period that you come to work with us. There’s no expectations that we hold as teachers, but we feel happy when you recognise us over the days and years that you start to evolve after you hold your qualification.

Today a student is a colleague tomorrow. The binding of social etiquette and official norms should always be respected sine dine. You never loose your place or position if you decide to show some reverence to your one time teacher. This appears to be a dwindling trait amongst a section of doctors.

There’s another trend that hurts your teachers which I wish to open up with. As you are aware that, we handle human lives the value of which is priceless. We confide in you all for various levels of responsibilities in patient care. At times when you shrug such accountabilities the anguish it creates in us is unsurmountable. We readily take the responsibility of every challenge that arises in patient care, but you should be aware about your portion of assignment.

A veteran teacher can often read whether you are an academically brilliant doctor or a skilfully nurtured clinician. In medical science knowledge is power but skill is success.

To wrap up this brief relationship message I wish to say that without support you cannot sail. As such maintain your part well during your training period and after it’s done never cross social and official practices or benchmarks.

Our teachers took pride in us and we always take the pleasure of showing reverence when ever the situation permits.

I hope I am not misunderstood . It’s always easier to write down ones thoughts to get across.

Hoping to hear back from you all.

Dr Madhumita Priyadarshini Das

Life is a great teacher of the art of surviving. When we reach a stage in life having survived through good and bad, we learn compliance. It is this trust in the course of events that finally carries us to a destination is what we learn as we move in life.

Youth is packed with a lot of energy. This stage makes us set goals, pursue that with vigor   and up until we get things realized the zeal keeps us sustained. This is the positive side of youth, and that’s the reason why the whole world evolves. However, there’s also a negative aspect of this huge power that youth behold. There’s a tendency to believe that result of hard work and perseverance is always positive. Life teaches the opposite with senescence. The set destination, hard work and perseverance are not the only variables for success in life. There are many unseen constants that come to play as we move on. 

The ability to believe that not everything that’s happening is within my bandwidth of control is something life makes us learn with living.

We read, we watch, we listen to information and we tend to believe we are equipped to face circumstances. The reality is far from this. Unless, we’ve stumbled, fallen and trembled with uncertainties we never imbibe the skill to believe that everything in life evolves. 

The greatest truth that age teaches is nothing is permanent.

Our views, likes, dislikes and notions are all a product of our circumstances. As situations change, and we encounter realities we soak into beliefs which may be radically opposite to what we thought. These are the teachings of living. 

Unless, you’ve lived the life of a farmer you can never comment about the soil or the seed. 

Books teach us what situations are usually like. But life teaches us the infinite variations of reality. Maturity makes us resilient, patient and optimistic. 

Having lived till this day for over six decades of journey, what I want to give back to the younger generations is the ability to nurture calmness. Nothing in life remains unaffected with time. Our failures, victories, insecurities and power, everything is bound by time. All we can master is the patience to hold on through the lows and humility to soak in the highs.

Some questions about human behaviour are forever unanswered. We ponder, perceive and find no answers but sometimes later on we ourselves gel into such situations with no queries. Humans understand all what’s right and what’s wrong. We know what to do in every setting but we choose what’s convenient. The person who chooses to abide by rules is sometimes identified as weird or half witted.

We all wish to keep life sailing. The question here is, should this be ever at the cost of divesting others ? At times, self love bind folds us with irrationality that we forget virtues like gratitude and commitment. When a person moves to avail dreams and expectations in life they simply eliminate all contenders sometimes irrespective of all ethics and scruples. The unanswered question is why so predatory ?.

Each of us wish to live a comfortable life. We invest and maintain the needed amenities within the jurisdiction of our homes. The question here is when the maintenance of utilities meant for public convenience is concerned some people are just nonchalant. Here again the unanswered question is, why such lack of mutual interest ?

We all know rules and regulations for every sphere of existence. We are aware of what’s right and what’s not. We never hesitate to point a finger at any one when codes or directives are violated. But the subconscious trust is adherence to law is not my responsibility when my comfort zone is trespassed. The question here is, why do we conveniently infringe regulations for ourselves ?.

We expect help and trust from every other comrade of life for our living. When it’s our own turn to get back, we tend to prioritise our ease and often cool our heels and stay in place. The question again is, why do some people consider themselves as extraordinary when it’s their turn to grant favours ?.

Man is made of flesh and blood and emotions that govern our expectations. Each of us understand every bit of this. When the question of empathy comes in some people facade themselves, why ?

These questions about life and living can go on. The paradox is these questions forever remain unanswered how much ever we ruminate.

There’s a saying “Power corrupts” !!! . This is not universal. If someone climbs the ladder to success by fair ways and means through the grill of skill and rules they always know to fit into that chair. Problems arise when someone bypasses rules managing favours and hidden strings . People who rise that way cannot comprehend their responsibilities and limitations. Such person’s often feel disrespected in their position of illegitimate seat of command. When people are in such existential crisis they often grip into office by exerting their air of power.

The very fact that a person feels the need to be rude and pompous with power to make their position felt proves their ineptitude and redundance. Such people, usually have frequent swings of favouritism and loud behavioural misconduct in public. One’s behaviour in office is a reflection of his inner self and the nurturing that’s behind the making of every person. Those who come from elite and educated families can never rebuke colleagues at work. The fact that some individuals can take power of position to arrogance and belittle or mock co workers itself is a testimony to their meagreness.

At work we are all defined by allocation of responsibilities. Our hierarchy of position is within the jurisdiction of office. The rules that govern us are grossly the same. We are bound by understanding and mutual respect. The fact that, an associate at work is courteous does not mean weakness. Courtesy is the language of the creme de la creme. This top tier pick of the litter cannot be traded with power or position. To have that aura of inherent aristocracy one needs to be nurtured in a background of such values.

Money cannot buy class. Neither can position define a person. The real test of a gentleman is in their behaviour with strangers (John / Jane doe ). Such people groom themselves to be polite unless instigated with lawlessness. These are the individuals who are approachable, helpful and empathetic. They know to bluster with ego and arrogance when the situation demands. These people are not weak they are marchese. They carry an aura of politeness and respect every person they interact with. This class of humans come from nurturing of values over time and the nature they carry down generations of erudite families.

Power is a armament for the accomplished competent individual who knows to fit into the boots they wear legitimately.

Human’s forever are on the look out. When we are young we crave to be older. As students we aspire for the career ahead. Once in a relationship we dream of marriage. The married paradoxically often never make sacrifices to keep the promises made.

Work unfolds an never ending horizon of intent, deligence, determination and a gratification to persue forever. This way the treads of aspiration keep moving to weave in tandem a weird harmony of the paradox of life.

When children are young parents often crib about the responsibilities and not being available for their own passions. The contradiction is when they grow up and fly out of the nest we start grieving about the emptiness.

Not just with ourselves, we consider our lives as incomplete until we’ve seen our next generation grow and sustain. As humans we are never ever done and happy to call it an achievement or a blessing at any stage of life that we are in. The coolest enigma is “On retrospect the past is always the best”.

Have you noticed the rising numbers of geriatric melancholia and dejection. When we are younger and always occupied with the drudgery of profession we crave for a sabbath. With superannuation people sink into lonliness and forlorn despair. The paradox is work is painful but rest is paradoxically awful.

When we are living at the present moment unless we wittingly remind ourselves, we often drift into reflections of the past or ambiguity about the future. It takes a whole life time to learn to enjoy and cherish the moment with gratitude. Thankfulness as tribute to every little blessing life offers is a virtue to be learnt.

Whenever a single disaster strikes we brood and believe that ‘I am the most unlucky’. Till that day, did we ever accept that we’ve been lucky all along. There are two major highlights about crisis in life. Up until we face a problem we tend to believe subconsciously that ‘all this can never happen to me, be it illness, emotional or financial breaks” .The day we encounter catastrophe the paradox of trust divulges to make us say with conviction that “nobody is as unfortunate as me”

The reality about life is we human’s have paradoxical reactions and perceptions about life and living. It is prudent to live in the moment, savour the situation and cultivate thankfulness. There isn’t any human who’s walked this planet without obstacles. Every person on earth is facing their own battles. The virtue to harvest peace at any point in life is a consciously nurtured skill.

To relate happiness to money, social status and other gains is the most unrealistic balance of paradoxes. However we are not metahumans nor ascetics . We all need the stability of existence to feel tranquil . We need to willingly perceive that each of our battles may not be the same but we bear similar weightage for existence and so we need to be empathetic towards one another.

The need for losses to appreciate the happiness of gains is a great paradox of life. It’s often conspicuous that the most thankful and peaceful souls are the ones who have had terrible existence in reality.

When it comes to abiding ethics / rules in life all of us know every bit of it. The paradox is implementation of rules is always an expectation on others and with self we confidently blindfold ourselves with genuine reasons.This makes us often unhappy with what others are doing. Some people are always miserable with a set of friends and colleagues for unmet expectations. This class of people paradoxically least introspect on what they themselves have met up with.

We buy goodies ( outfits and accessories ) of living for that very special day of our lives, the paradox is we never realise when that day passes by . One fine day we count that the beautiful cookery and doilies never made it to the table in years waiting for the right day. Similar it is with our exquisite outfits.We buy them with pleasure and paradoxically linger for eternity looking for the opportune occasion till we realise it fits us no longer or at times has gone outmoded and obsolete. The paradoxes of life just go on.

But all said and done, the wrap up message that six decades of living has taught me is , Today is the best day of my life !!! lets believe this with affirmation. We have woken up to a new day, we are healthy, there’s a family to cater to and also lean back on and this is the greatest blessing I have from the universe. Feeling blessed is a rectitude of the witan.

Dr Madhumita Priyadarshini Das

Life is definitely a sequence of changes. There’s always a need for each of us to mould into situations which unfold as we progress. Holding on to old values and priorities sometimes is a cause of distress. When we are young we are taught to follow every teaching of parents but in the next phase every intelligent child teaches ways to learn better ways of survival. They learn from social interactions and reading things they like. With time it’s healthy to allow each person’s perceptions to change and mould into what they individually perceive as correct. That’s where many slip. The day an adult decides to wear the boots of life in the way they like parents should never assert. The well brought up individual also does not feel intimidated to mould into the new position of choice. The ability to accept the changes in every situation of life without fear is a skill to be learnt.
The constant dependence on the past and the insecurity to let go what we value, sometimes is unknowingly the cause of unhappiness in the present moment.

We should consciously tell ourselves that the place in life where I am in today is where I have chosen to be. Nothing from my previous values or position is in conflict. Each person is moulding and so am I. Contentment in my present moment can come from acceptance of changes that I stepped into.
Peace is a result of choosing to be satisfied with what we achieve and moulding into the sequence of changes that usher as we sail in life.
Sometimes across generations there may be misinterpretations of contexts. That’s perfectly normal. This is also because change is the only constant in this universe. The ability to mould into the new concepts of values is a skill that we should nurture at every stage as we move on.
finally happy is the soul who’s mastered the ability to accept every changing perspective of life.

To choose to be happy today is my choice and to be independent enough to not hold anyone responsible for how my life unfolds is my nurtured maturity.
I consider myself to be happy, peaceful and content.
I try to absorb every change as the law of nature.

Peaceful is the soul who can perceive that “That change is the only constant in this universe” .
Moulding in is the key to happiness.

There’s no end to learning from life at every stage. Man being primarily a social being we have to always work on interpersonal relationships to feel peaceful and socially secure.
The moment the balance between expectations and realisation is disturbed we start feeling stressed. This is absolutely true and how it should be. However there’s one observation that in situations of turbulence it’s the mutual responsibility of each person to work on it. If someone does not respond as desired is it by choice or under pressure of other situations? Not every person can always control their tranquility or inner sanity at all times. Some moments call for understanding ,retrospection and introspection into our own role in the dynamics of the resultant distress.
Whenever near and dear ones are concerned we are sometimes blinded with a huge sense of belonging that no law of reasoning can pull our reigns down.
The fact that we love someone so dearly makes us believe that the other person should reciprocate at the exact same frequency.
My perception is perhaps that’s where we sometimes go wrong in our judgement.
Every person is different. The day we start respecting each other together with the huge love and care we hold in our hearts for them perhaps the music of life starts to play more smoothly.
Primarily one should learn to be peaceful inside oneself. The key to inner peace should not be dependent on external factors as far as possible. To master inner tranquility is of course a lifetime pursuit.
Once we are peaceful inside, the outer environment becomes easier to handle.
However, it’s each person’s huge responsibility to understand the expectations, limitations and mutual contribution to try to hold on in times of happiness and crisis.
Nobody can be happy alone. It’s hence perfectly normal to want our near and dear ones in moments of need. The response of a person in the other’s need is what makes things fall into place.
Once we start to count of the good memories of any relation perhaps the pain of any present situation can feel lighter.

All said and done, it’s each of our duty to value every social responsibility we bear towards each other and consciously make living stress free and happy.

Time teaches us many things. One of the major lessons from time is “the power of silence”. The more inexperienced we are with life, more do we feel the necessity of speaking up. We wish to clarify every details of our interactions. We are usually intolerant to us being misinterpreted. There are situations when we can reflect and appreciate that by speaking up things got misjudged.

Time teaches that silence at times is golden. This is more so when interactions are sensitive often with near and dear ones. In official matters, it’s mandatory to speak up and be clear about every details. However, every scenario does not call for exhaustive elucidation. There are circumstances when it makes no difference to remain distorted. Not everyone deserves our explanation.

During the course of a day looking back one can often comprehend that not every conversation was crucial or profound. It’s very often prudent to remain in silence and let action prove the truth. A properly placed moment of silence can often heal a lot of unexpressed sorrow. When interaction is between level headed people who are intellectually and emotionally at par, silence can be ground breaking.

All misunderstandings and emotional anguish is often a result of lambasting and harangue. When one learns to live with tranquility through that moment of adrenaline outburst shall the glow of silence be visible. Our behaviour is scientifically governed by a balance of hormones where the hypothalamus located deep inside the brain plays a role of governance. Endorphins, serotonin, oxytocin and dopamine are the happy hormones. Whereas adrenaline rush causes anxiety, hypertension, insomnia, indigestion and cardiac disorders. Certain activities like exercise, relaxation, good sleep, meditation help in the surge of hormones that bring calmness and tranquility.

The balance of our reactions is within the bandwidth of our lifestyle and how we work towards making it healthy. Reactions are innate to human but the ability to mould, hold and modify how we react is the refinement one can achieve with the perseverance of conscious strive to grip on our primitive responses.

Silence is not weakness it’s in fact the ultimate strength of resilience where kinship is involved. In circumstances of official interactions prudent use of language is a skill of the erudite. The ability to choose silence over words is an expertise learnt from stumbles of unhappiness we created in the past from talking beyond necessity.

Silence is golden.

Words are powerful.

The ability to choose is a skill of the maestro who’s learnt the music of life.

We as human’s are emotionally dependent on each other at various levels of subservience. There are situations when we feel intimidated unless that particular friend, or spouse or child comes and just stands by us to say “don’t worry”. Although in reality one person strategically manages the blueprint of things, but that person feels confident when there’s a soul to lean on. We say that a person is strong or not according to how they handle life. But if one looks closely we realise that being strong is not a choice or a nurtured skill. Strength comes from situations handled with no choice but to hold on.

Every human is a product of the circumstances we face. If someone has forever been hand held and spoon fed they can never rise up to a crisis. They will break and shatter down to oblivion. Those people who’s rush of endorphins hold them together will bend but not break, they will struggle but not sink. The art on confronting crisis is a product of exposure and experience.

Human’s generally have a tendency to believe that the amount of stress, strain and pain I’ve handled is insurmountable. But still waters run deep. The real survivors are resilient and never look for appreciation. They perfectly know their abilities and limitations and are never on the look out for recognition.

Each soul is handling a situation at any point on time. The interpretation of the scenario as a struggle or a or a commitment depends on individual choice.

An ever cribbing individual can find their daily grid a highlightable challenge , whereas yet others would take it all on their stride and handle quotidian responsibilities. The resultant personality of any person depends of their mindset.

Some people complain about the sun when it’s bright and they also complain about the rain when it sprinkles. The interpretation of events and the handling of situations ranging from daily schedules to catastrophe depends on the attitude and mental programme of every individual.

As a doctor I’ve often noticed that people react so differently in similar situations. Some are in denial, some accept, yet other scream, cry and exhibit emotions. The ones who a higher in intellect and education often reveal nothing but burn out internally.

The concept of confronting crisis is extremely personal and individualised . We all mould along the way. How we reacted a decade back will never be how we respond today. Everyday, every new berth we step into shapes us to be the new self we emerge to be. The template that defines us at every stage in life comes from the myriads of crisis we confront everyday.

We hold, we break we reshape and emerge stronger with every passing day.

Let the mind soak it, subsequently the body will shape it and the revised, polished and fit personality in us emerges.

Dr Madhumita P Das

In life we wade through multiple scenes of good, bad, happiness and contentment. There’s just no one who’s forever happy nor forever sad. It’s often curious to notice that some of the most successful, materially rich and well placed souls are the most unhappy. They land up being critical, sarcastic and rather sadistic in their interactions. If by fluke of circumstances you need to work with a colleague in that pitiable state of mind, you either should learn to ignore, disrespect or yield to the taunts of words and deeds and live in misery.

Closely looking at such people over years, it’s this realisation that’s seeped in that these mortals are store houses of remorse, dissatisfaction and materially hungry beings who are never grateful for anything they have. Here we need to appreciate that there’s a difference between pride of possession and humility of gratitude.

If someone is proud of their position they can only radiate arrogance and vanity. Grateful people remain humble and carry an aura of self respect, dignity and charm of amicability.

Every being in this world has their own share of talents and limitations. As per their ability each person achieves their dues. Just the fact that someone is wealthy and affluent it’s mindless to gauge that as a measure of accomplishment. You don’t need money, power or position to be gratified or happy. Infact wealth management and fear of loosing power and position are often the greatest triggers for ever sarcastic socially repulsive people.

Practising gratitude is an element that comes from self love, self discipline and perseverance to improve. What do people gain by hurting and demeaning others. The day you step down from your power and position you mingle into oblivion, beware.