Month: August 2021

A warm summer morning, Maria sits on the couch of her balcony sipping her morning cuppa. It soaks in that yes she is not too far from her diamond jubilee birthday.A few brisk years and she will be there. She wonders, what has these streaks of grey and years of toil taught me?

Yes before I drift away its important to mention that Maria has been a teacher for 30 years today. Like all other women she has also juggled through motherhood, home and family. But what’s important is she has groomed many student careers. She has been an academic mother and navigated many pupils to successful destinations.

Maria is not too ambitious. She believes in good work culture and a peaceful life. But alas !! she works for the government. It’s immaterial what you have done for three decades, whether you slogged or slept. What is important is how intelligent you are in juggling your strings, image and humility in front of the men in power.

True that India is a democratic country. But Maria fails to perceive the essence of it these days.

People are voted to power to represent us all. But once in power very few abide by democratic guidelines.

Public humiliation on camera of news channels and social media is the trend of the day.

Just because Mr X is a departmental minister for a couple of months/ years, does democratic principles permit such absolutism?

Honoured , empowered and admired is the officer who is a good juggler. Overtime life has gathered experiences and realisations. But today it looks like being considered dishonest and indisciplined is the norm. How has the world been moving all these years.

Maria runs through the morning news paper. It seems to be packed with horror stories of price hike, robbery, defeat and insecurities. A brisk shower and morning chores as for three long decades. She drives to work and reaches before time.

The office staff smiles and hands her a notification. She realises another intelligent and connected employee has been upgraded. Maria does not ever yearn for anything like that.

But she mutters to herself, Oh! Lord I hope I am not crushed once again.

Maria feels like telling her students ” Don’t loose ground whenever you grow up”. But lackaday she may be targeted for more woes on her way.

She drives back home at the end of a long strenuous day only with insecurities thinking…… hopefully I am not a prey to these pontifical domineering democratic leaders or their followers.

If this is work culture nurturing today. We don’t know what we are headed for.

Maria goes to bed crestfallen for now she cannot start a new life nor can she drop out. It’s next morning again and she is off to work with dedication but no expectation.

She has to work to sustain and prays she can do that till the end.

We, humans, are often dissatisfied with whatever we have been offered in life. We wish to have a better job, a more beautiful house, a fancier car, luckier stars, and everything on a superlative scale because that’s what usual human perception is. As the saying goes “grass is greener on the other side”. However, this quality in humans is also a reason that we thrive by improving ourselves. But the flip side to it is in the pursuit of happiness we never know where to curb it. This again is perhaps the commonest cause of frustration and low self-esteem. It’s prudent to improve oneself for a brighter tomorrow. But when to call it an achievement and when to continue aspiring for more depends on how well a person understands himself.

I realized if a genie walks onto this earth and gives each of us a choice to shuffle our shoes with whoever we want. I am sure no intelligent person can choose any. The fact is if someone is pecuniarily rich, he may be poor in health or relationships may be unhappy. Nobody in this world has been spared from holding grief on their backpack of experiences in life.

So, this choice of spotting one person and then shuffling shoes and walking ahead is far fancier than factual.
If you ask oneself whether a teenager or a supposedly matured person in the 4th, 5th, or 6th decade of life or even an octogenarian, some triggers of happiness are common.

• A new shirt
• A gift from a loved one. Coffee with a friend.
• A nice haircut, a meal cooked by a loved one.
• A phone call from children, siblings, or good friends.

These are the myriad of blessings of life taken for granted. When such simple priceless things can release our happy endorphins, why should we crave more? This unrealistic yearning makes a man feel that Mr. X is happier because he drives a Tesla or lives in a grand house. But prying nearer you may find his family life or health is in crumbles. The fact is if one has a happy home that dines, wine, and sleeps under one roof with happy vibes, there is a no bigger blessing.

We often thus overlook these priceless triggers for happiness and aspire for more. Wealth can never buy ecstasy. Being content is a personalized, internalized perception. One needs to subdue the inferno of baseless feelings that can breach our internal tranquility. The fact remains that nobody in this world is free from hardships, grief, pain, and hurdles. But at the same time, everyone has blessings to be grateful for. The fact that we have seen the light of this day, that we had a good meal and enjoyed the warmth of a happy family is not to be taken for granted. Nobody in this world has an all-rosy life.

Work, home, family, health, siblings, children, friends everything is never in the order in anyone’s life. One source of pain is enough to dampen all other springs of happiness. This is the truth in everyone’s life. The difference is some highlight their curses and others are thanksgiving by nature. In the end, it’s our attitude towards life that builds our spirit. If on honestly look in, we can perceive that my misfortunes are better than another’s. For with every disaster the path to elucidation lightens up. Once we are done with it we learn gratitude, humility, and the art of being cheerful. The plethora of diverse events in life helps us to realise that we are best where we are and the unrealistic desire to crave for someone else’s life is asinine.

These days with families being small and people being generally independent and perhaps less malleable, living alone is commoner. Gone are the days of joint families with half a dozen siblings. Back in the day, there would always be an aunt, cousin or a parent or sibling who would hold on whenever circumstances made a person live alone.

But now you will often find people of diverse age groups preferring to live alone. Some have pets and many others have a household help for company. Honestly living alone is a huge freedom if one wishes to enjoy.

The major prerequisites to live alone are .

• Enjoying solitude
• Independent by nature .
• Confident to face daily life alone.
• Health being congenial
• Financial independence to the level possible.

People who have these characteristics ingrained in their nature always enjoy their own company the most.The hurly burly scenes of crowds together enjoying is not always a delectation.They start feeling the highest gaiety in solitude or with a selected number of friends.

These people are usually not always very social because they have other sequences in their priorities.However they definitely have a basket full of countable trusted friends. Such personalities are happy reading a book, listening to music or travelling alone instead of hanging around with buddies.They trust that in a crisis there are people who hold their hands to help sail along.

Staying by oneself with selected interactions is definitely not being lonely but just augustly eclectic .

Life is actually what you groom yourself to be.Some people find it harsh and distressing to enjoy a meal alone or go to the theatre by themselves. Whereas these people love the wilderness of travelling in seclusion.This bliss of perception is savoir faire. As one learns to love oneself, with time unpremeditatedly they nurture hikikomori to some extend.

But the thin line between being happy alone and also enjoying companionship to being a complete recluse is thin and rather important to discern.

The sequitur to this is ” rich is a person who does not need the approval of another to be happy.”

Our thoughts and lifestyle are usually a product of the situation we evolve out of and that is life.

But all said and done happiest is the person who expects everything out of self. If you are yourself the bearer of all your expectations you will learn to draw the line of contentment.

Man is a social being, help is crucial, solitude is bliss but in the hour of crisis the treasure of trusted companionship is indispensable.

by

Dr Madhumita Priyadarshini Das