A sleepless , alert night and she wakes up exhausted trying to introspect why all the dilemma has crept into a tranquil life even after tormentous storms failing to hunch her down becauseof the strong instinct of motherhood in her .
She had unknowingly taken a pledge to stand by her children singlehandedly and make them good human beings and as far as possible realise their dreams come what may . It was all along this strong heavenly instinct that kept everything else under the carpet of resilience and acceptance till this day dawned when she realized that life was gradually slipping out of her grip and there was an urgent need to introspect and channelize the priorities that could bring back the lost sense of peace and blessing that always reigned over the last almost one and a half decade of living a life of a single mother of two promising kids and a government job as a doctor which was enough in terms of financial stability to persue the life she could dream of under the compelling circumstances .
Sipping her morning tea in the balcony of a rural medical college , she realised that this is definitely not the life that she would like to continue with .
Elderly parents all alone at home residing 200 kms away and children across the globe and she alone in a shared government accomodation after having put in over 25 years of dedicated service to the profession it was time to take a call and slip into her adventurous shoes once again and balance risk and safety with heroism and a blind mighty jump from stability to uncertainty but undoubtedly with faith and optimism that the future will hold her throughin the carrying the small basket of financial commitments she still had left unfinished to the promise of motherhood that had kept her going till date .
She took a mighty plunge .
Yes , that was exactly the background when she almost instantaneously put in her voluntary retirement papers to the government inspite of having calculated that she was sacrificing over 12 years to go for her scheduled superannuation. Next was building up her homework of backup plan A , Plan B and on and on but always wrapped with the power of strong optimism that ” If I do my best the almighty shall take care of the rest .”
An extrovert personality by nature she never left any person categorized as” friend ” to share her life changing decision that she had curved into her already bumpy existence .
As the days rolled on to months and the auspicious day dawned when she had completed her scheduled period of notification ,she counseled herself to face the rage of the situation and got all her am munitions in terms of courage and optimism hold her wings and she was almost off to take her flight .
Ring ring , the phone goes and there speaks a stranger from an unknown number , ” Madam , you need to come to the seat of power , the state Secretariat today , for there is a government order ready for you ” .
BANG , there is a tremor , sweating , hurry and hesitation , Oh God ! what would the comprehension of this once in a lifetime government order be framed like . It was like driving to a temple to get wedded to a man who was not very familiar , but yes with relief and remorse , confidence and fidgeting she reached her destination only to be handed over an order which read that she was transferred back to her hometown .
OMG !! What is this , she had requested for a premature retirement being convinced that a hometown posting was not anymore on her platter even in the wildest of her dreams but when the authorities decide and destiny plays the cards no rhyme or reason could come in between .
Not knowing what to call this situation in the midst of a storm of uncertainties she accepted destiny as she always did and could perceive that she was matured enough to handle life as preset by the unseen in spite of feeling jerks in the mind , heart and soul .
Today she actually stands where she always was and all speculations suddenly off the horizon , but thankfully to work from back home in the comfort zone of her elderly parents and children far away .But no power on earth can beat the gossip gathered around her turn of events .
Off late she stands controversially in the eye of a storm of queries and conversation.
How on earth did this single apparently weak fragile female battle through this war of high voltage connections to reach a destination which colleagues refuse to believe that she had actually given up in reality .
The smoke around the flameless fire bellows up in the confused eyes of the comrades around and the wind echoes in their ears saying , we are baffled , clueless and unwilling to accept that single females can rise up , fight ,prove , move and continue to stand up .
For this society knows no empathy and can only swing between sympathy and envy .
Its either black or white , there are no shades of grey .
DR MADHUMITA PRIYADARSHINI DAS