Month: March 2021

The Indian population as we all know is diverse in all aspects .Educational background , culture ,financial condition , needs and expectations . We as a class belong to a chunk of educated working citizens . We live with some realistic ,achievable hopes and needs . We work for the government ,and have put in our hearts and souls into it . But again of all the government service holders we are that fraction who neither aspire for financial schemes nor have the power to influence decisions . So where do we stand .

Whenever its time for elections , I run through the same volley of unanswered questions .Why are we paying over 3 months of our salaries as taxes . We do not expect any waiver or fancy perks . We neither want to pay back less than what has been set by rules. We want basic life sustaining amenities . Our expectations include , social security, proper civic amenities like water supply and flood control . A hygienic city would mean control of most mosquito and flies bourne ailments . We would be happy with just a clean , secure , anxiety of water free life as our basic need .

But , alas ; we never catch any attention for our votes are smattering both in number and weightage . The compilation of promises and agendas are designed to satisfy the rural and semi urban Indians who are biggest in numbers and that’s of highest value for an aspirant for power . The next valuable class of voters are the affluent entrepreneurs and industrialists who can liberally shake off wealth for the sake of powerful connections .

So , I ponder . Where is the value of our fundamental right of Democracy . We work honestly . We pay our dues without complaints . We aspire for a reasonable existence , we follow rules . But when it comes to our dues no single aspirant to the corridors of power has our needs on their agenda .

My question shall perhaps remain unanswered for a few more decades .

But I wish to exercise my franchise once again .

Dr Madhumita Priyadarshini Das

Sitting on the other side of the 5th decade of life , I wish to pendown a few flashing thoughts .Yes have traversed through childhood and youth to reach the early sunset years of life . But as I look back like all of us perhaps do , I realise life has given me the opportunity to understand and accept a lot of truth which are experiences blissful as well as unpalatable .

I should admit , my childhood was perfect . Grew up in a nuclear family under the care of educated and enlightened parents . They in the 1960’s saw to it that we read , played , drove , swam , recited , debated and even tasted fashion and travel .With no antipathy I had a love marriage in the middle of building up my Medical career . Subsequently my husband proved to be ideal in his respect and concern for my career and limitations . Till that stage in life I should say I was served everything on a golden platter .

But lightening struck when I was in my late 30’s , husband in his 40’s and the boys were 6 and 13 years of age .

I was learning to be financially independent , Husband was at the height of success in his career . The boys were blossoming little hard working geniuses. What better or rather worse stage of life could the bread earner of the family be struck with stage 4 cancer . But that’s what happened and we had just no option .

In over 3 months since diagnosis , when we squeezed in all our resources ,time and energy , the whole situation slipped out of control .The protective patriacal umbrella of the super blessed family was blown away .

I now the sole parent of this family had no choice / respite / pondering but to just plunge in a take a grip of everything .It was like a chariot that was running towards a destination but way ahead of that the charioteer dropped dead and the co driver who was all along still learning the art took full control of things . The chariot flashed past all odds and reached a destination . The passengers are now all over the globe riding their own wheels . Its only now that loneliness has finally set in .

Relfections that sometimes bothers at this stage is ;

As a daughter ,I tried to be whatever best I thought I can .Father passed away a few weeks back . Mother now an octogenarian is also battling loneliness after 58 years of conjugal life . I don’t blame her the least for I am still learning to cope my 17 years of lonliness which is surfacing only now for I have time to look back at the sweet 16 years of togetherness that I had .

As a wife I stood by my husband like a spouse, a doctor, a nurse , a mother … and what ever else possible till death put us apart . But as a mother I am more than confident that I did my level best of course not aware of any unknowing faults in parenting which I am sure I must have committed all along the way .

Today the empty nest with two good human beings having flown off makes me happy and also gripped with solitude .

For if you have earned wealth , imparted knowledge , borne and parented kids , taken care of elderly parents . Now the question I ask …. What is my next responsibility ? . Who do I trust for in my hours of grief or pain . Uncertainities galore . My only objective now is “TO KEEP MY MIND STILL IN ALL THESE SPLASHES OF PAIN , FOR EVERYTHING WILL PERHAPS THAN GO IN VAIN ”

But certainly its not only pain . I do perceive happiness of having done whatever I could . I could wade through the adversities of life with a handful of helpful souls . The universe has blessed my boys to be on their own . I am till date standing like a rock where I have tried to hold on till entrusted by destiny .

DR Madhumita Priyadarshini Das