On Parenting

These days with the evolving digital era and now lately with the restrictions laid by the pandemic I have realised the perils and challenges of parenting have also been mounting. But besides the changing scenario with times parenting is definitely a job that every person wishes to carry out at some point of their lives. The added wonder to this is since no two children are the same their is no common formula to it. I firmly believe that once we are done with parenting a toddler to teens we realise all your mistakes.

My goal of parenting was to bring up two little kids to be independent good human beings. I had to handle this huge responsibility single handedly at a relatively early stage in life. More so the wonder was two little bubbly boys one was 6 and other 13 years of age. But they were full of energy to face the world. I was obviously young and inexperienced but struggling to hold on.

The first point I tried to soak into them was our priorities are health and education.I will try to give them a balanced diet as best as I can and not compromise with schooling. That was the goal set and all other fancy things of life like exotic clothes, shoes, or expensive holidays were for the time being trimmed out of our platter of priorities.I honestly believe children understand.Hardships make tuffer persons at the end of the day. Of course quality time and examplary dedicated lifestyle of parents is crucial.

My observation is pampered kids are usually insecure. They perhaps always believe that someone will carry their bags, wash, cook and clean for them. But if these kids are also brilliant and bright they later perhaps curse their upbringing for the pain of getting along with life. The mouldable ones often adjust and learn the basic skills of living. But the mediocre kids land up with big goals but fuzzy roads. Many develop psychosocial problems and some land up being frustrated. Yet others who have their parental umbrella protecting them till the 3rd or 4th decades of life are usually inutile bootless people.Every individual is made to learn confidence and be happy only when they prove themselves to be worth if possible more than their caregivers.

Excuse me if I am wrong, but parenting and love is not synonymous.Showering wealth and appreciating a child’s attitude to evade social norms are never useful.Some parents are so happy in admitting that my child is different and will not accept what everyone else does.I believe this is sheer ignorance in parenting. The usual expectation is our children will live longer than us. After we are gone, nobody in this world not even their spouses will bear with their supercilious vanity.So being grounded, independent and empathetic are as important as being honest and humble to make a complete person.Parenting should probably be aimed to make a complete human being to run the race of life.

We middle class common people always dream that our children build up a professional career that caters to their aspirations about useful living.In that process my personal opinion is spot their passion.If passion can be nurtured to become a profession more can be achieved with less pain perceived out of the struggle.

Gone are the days of only medical and engineering being counted successful career options . We now live in times when a musician, swimmer, a painter, a chef or a dresser are equally respected and needed in the society.

For those who do not have a heritage of wealth and fortune to leave behind. It is better to nurture your child’s healthy passion to become a successful career option.

Again the attitude of the parents also goes a long way in moulding a child’s personality.The concept of care is not synonymous with helicopter parenting.Some people believe that even giving up their jobs and moving away with the kids for their comfort and security is helpful.While others blissfully allow then to fly out of the nest by the time they are 18.Now what is right and what is wrong is difficult to delineate statistically.However at the end of it all if a kid grows up to be an honest, empathetic, diligent, good balanced human being which in turn is a product of nature( genes) and nurture( parenting) things fall into place.No form of parenting can be called perfect. I myself have committed numerous unpardonable mistakes. Nor do I believe that I can deal with this subject with confidence.But all said and done, I must admit that I am a single mother of two software professions who luckily were blessed to be independent good human beings in their early 20’s.

One very major aspect of parenting I believe is trust.If we trust a child we get that back from them .The other important practice is I believe to encourage them in all their endeavours. Encouragement builds confidence

To wrap up , Luck and destiny also directs the sailing of the boat of life .

BY

Dr Madhumita Priyadarshini Das