As we move along with life, many perceptions become a reflection of what we’ve seen, learnt and felt. There comes a time when priorities of life get so shuffled in their order that we discover a new person in ourselves. It’s at that phase of life that we feel like sharing our experiences for those who wish to know.
Having reached the 6th decade of living there are impressions that hold cognizance and a sense of understanding. We grew up moulded by nuns in school and moral values at home. The most important realisation for me today is “moral values hold strong only for self moulding”. Be a good human being only as much is needed for your own peace of mind. We spend a huge portion of our energy, time and resources to help our good friends and family. However we are all earthly souls who often fall into situations where we need a hand to hold. It’s only then we realise how much we wasted encouraging, offering, hand holding for humans who nurture no humanity.
All scriptures say not to ever expect returns, This is something which is not real. Most of us fail to reach that level of spirituality. A monk who has renounced all earthly needs can reach that existence. We are humans who face the rage of everyday lives. We cannot control our adrenaline with day to day upheavals of living. The day you feel unwell you cannot crush your expectation of the need for help. At work when you are overloaded you cannot forget the day you shared the burden of a colleague in distress. Even a simple conversation with a friend in need can sometime be so soul healing. It is here that we make most of our mistakes. It takes a lifetime to decipher who your true buddies are.
Learning to read people is one of the greatest challenges of day to day life. It’s always that your closest souls give the greatest pain. This is because we are all bound by human emotions and expectations. How I wish I knew exactly how much energy one needs to burn on any relation. If this pain was titrated by prudence life could be simpler.
The next major hurdle of living is “handling insecurities”. We are morbidly concerned about our stability. Family, job, finances and health are some facets that burn out a lot of our peace of mind. The truth is what’s to happen is a product of what we do and a lot is our destiny. We need to be committed towards family and our job. Finances need intelligent planning and health awareness is a lifelong vigilance. Subsequent consequences should be accepted with gratitude. Nurturing unrealistic trepidations about possibilities is a huge weight we carry through a major part of life. The prudence here is to be realistic and focus on everyday obligations with assiduity
However, talking about health reminds me, that it’s the greatest asset that should hold the highest priority all throughout life. Regular awareness about the food we take is crucial. Next a balance of physical activities is important to keep going. But adequate care for mental health is crucial to feel complete. These days with more understanding and knowledge about psychological and emotional wellbeing the diagnosis of these issues have gotten far commoner. My take about this situation is if each of us pursue our role requirements at every stage of life with assiduity we actually gel into life naturally.
A person in their 30’s normally feels complete with a partner and family responsibilities. Gradually one starts to crave for success at work and financial leverage. With this those who keep health care maintained usually can breathe in sanity and peace. For us common men it is crucial to choose to anchor most of our facets of life like job, family and lifestyle before you enter your 4th decade.
The 4th and 5th decades are usually stages of consolidation of all responsibilities and promises. Sharing a lot with an understanding partner is a beautiful blessing to be thankful about for those who have.By this stage often parental obligations surface. Aging parents may need time, attention and resources. It’s another pleasure if you get an opportunity to cater to elderly parents.
All said and done these are the phases of the life of a lucky human. Destiny can break rules at any moment. To train oneself to mould into unseen unheard circumstances is decisive. Difficult moments test our resilience. This in-turn is what we rear in us from every opportunity and calamity that we’ve faced in living. Unfortunate are the ones reared on a bed of roses. Every problem we face in life shapes us into the person we become. It’s pertinent to understand that there’s no human on earth who’s not faced impediments. Every stumbling block makes us emotionally brawny.
Later down life we start to understand the eternal truth ” this too shall pass.”. The fear that grips us throughout life is to a huge extend controllable once we trust in this universe. We walk into situations sometimes unaware of any solutions. However, looking back you understand that the unseen course of events just brought your boat to the shores in a raging sea.
Simple practices of gratitude and a conscious effort of self love are ways to be happy. It’s never incorrect to yield to your desires and passions. Today is the day to enjoy every bit of life. If your indulging in the pleasures of living does not harm yourself or your near and dear ones then it perfect to go ahead. As said there’s no better day for that best outfit, that exotic accessory or even that dream holiday. It you can effort it financially and socially then it’s all yours.
Taking about social, it reminds me that, many people spend a lot of their zeal wandering “what will people say”. That’s actually the least important concern in life. Our apprehension needn’t include that factor at all. We should live life in the way that’s best suited for us individually. Above all that no energy needs to be wasted in comparing our lives with anyone else. We need to believe that “I am in the best situation”. This single trust acts as a spring board to move to a goal of fulfilment.
Beyond all this, there’s something crucial the passing years teach in a hard way. If you want to circumvent this affliction of pain,it’s mandatory to believe that I am not always correct. What I knew with affirmation a year ago may not be relevant today. It’s imperative to soak into the truth that “change is the only constant”. People who stick to there notions in any facet of life without an introspection or an updating are bound to be inflicted with disgust.
Besides all this some nuts and bolts to a peaceful existence is nurturing a few skills. Of them all it’s pivotal to learn to be happy and complete alone. Readiness to change, trying to be exclusive in a crowd who’s fancies are not clear and as much as feasible to not blame anyone for my own life.
All said and done. Looks like everyday of life imparts a lesson. It’s upon each of us to interpret things learn from them, unlearn what’s no more relevant and create our personal template of contentment and bliss.
Dr Madhumita Priyadarshini Das